Do you ever wonder how the story of your life would sell? I mean, if they wrote a book about your life, would people find it interesting? Would it be tragic? Exciting? Inspiring?
Being a writer, I often wonder if I should write my life story, just for myself. And I wonder, if anyone found it years from now, when I died, would they care? Would it be something that they would want to read? Would they be shocked by what I had to say, my true and honest to God opinions, my emotions, and what I've done, or experienced, if I told the complete and total truth? Sometimes I feel that my life is so absurd and outlandish and the opinions I have are so uncharacteristic for someone like me, that people would think I was making it up. But doesn't percieved fantasy make for good reading?
I wonder what I would write, and what I would keep inside of me forever. I sometimes think about how much I feel like two different people. I always feel like I'm walking beside myself, and my true self is watching the Priya everyone knows, and wondering why she feels so compelled to put up a wall. And why she's not open to actually trying the experiences she really wants to have...
Sometimes I truly and honestly ache to share the real me with the world...and maybe I could find a way that it seemed I wasn't doing so. Maybe that's why an autobiography, disguised as something else, has always been so intriguing to me. While my short stories are inspired by my experiences, they're just that...inspired. Not a narrative account. And I feel that while the experiences I've had are not all ones I want, they are varied for someone my age. I've seen so much in 13 years. And they've shaped me.
I am who I am...thoughts, opinions, emotions, reactions, interests, passions, quirks, tastes, and all...because of what came before for me.
I think I just want to be understood. And now that I think about it, maybe not even by the world...just a select few. And I don't understand why, but I think I would feel more at ease knowing that they understand me, no matter what their reaction to the information.